Five Times Matt Met Misa by Accident
by Jengou
Summary: Is Matt as hopeless with women as he looks? Answer: mostly yes. A humourous take on how, under different circumstances, the two might have got along.


Title: Five Times Matt Met Misa by Accident

**Title:** Five Times Matt Met Misa by Accident  
**Author:** **jengou**  
**Pairings:** Matt/Misa  
**Genre:** Humour  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** none.  
**Word count:** 1,360  
**Disclaimer:** Death Note isn't mine.  
**Acknowledgement:** Written for **lumcheng**'s fic prompt

**one.**

Matt sneaked a sidelong glance at his cooking buddy. Pretty face, thick black-rimmed glasses, and a tidy page-boy haircut.

_Lucky, she's cute. I should try to make conversation._ Matt cleared his throat noisily.

"So, uh, hey. Why'd you decide to join cooking class?"

The girl blinked, her eyes owlish behind the glasses. "You mean... besides wanting to learn how to cook?"

"Y-es…" Matt berated himself, _I'm so lame, I'm so laaaame._

Seeing the boy blush, the girl took pity on him. "Misa wants to become the best housewife in the world!"

_Score!_

"And you?" she glanced around. "Not many boys come here."

_I'm a man_, thought Matt, before replying. "Well, my partner-" Matt nearly said 'in crime', "he hates junk food and food from convenience stores, but can't stand eating outside either. I got fed up with his complaining."

"Ah," Misa smiled emphatically, "You must care for your partner very much."

"Err," Matt said. "Wait. No, I mean, I meant we're, we're colleagues."

Misa nodded. "Whom you're going to cooking classes for."

"It's not like that," Matt explained, a tone of despair sneaking into his voice, "I like women!" To substantiate his point, he added, "I think you're hot."

Misa arched one of her eyebrows, thoroughly unimpressed by his efforts. "I _was_ voted Number One Most Kissable Model in Japan by non-no."

Matt considered persuading Misa that he thought the middle-aged cooking instructor with sagging boobs was hot too, but realized that that would be taking heterosexuality too far, and also a lie.

He sighed, and grudgingly accepted the frilly apron and smug smile offered.

**two.**

"I-say at-thay Isa-May Isa-May?"

The girl's attempt to be discreet failed spectacularly - all eyes in the tiny McDonald's turned to Misa, and then she was flocked by adoring fangirls.

"Misa Misa!" one of them crowed. "Why are you in McDonald's? You said in your Slimfast commercial that you don't get the urge to eat fast food anymore, right?"

"Oh! Of course! Misa just needs a quick, healthy snack between takes." To prove her point, she turned to the cashier and smiled winningly, "A salad please, no dressing or croutons."

_She looks different, but that's definitely her._ Matt's observational skills were top-notch! Too bad that didn't help with getting girls' attention.

_Or does it?_

Matt ordered a Big Mac Meal and trailed after Misa, making sure he was seated within her line of sight. Everyone in the area pretended to leave Misa alone, but they were all gawping at her, watching her every move.

Misa picked up the fork, stabbed at her salad, and was bringing a forkful towards her mouth when she caught sight of Matt.

He took that as a cue and lifted his Big Mac with all ten of his fingers, opened his mouth wide, and took a tremendous bite out of the burger. The meat practically squirmed in his hands, the sauce dripping over the edge of the bun and over his fingers. He closed his eyes, visibly savouring the flavours of the juicy meat, the greasy bun, and the oily sauce.

Matt opened his eyes a crack, and was pleased to see that Misa was utterly transfixed by the sight – eyes glassy, jaws slack, the forkful of salad hanging in midair. Not only until Matt started on his second bite did she clench her jaws, turn resolutely back to her salad, and push the forkful into her mouth. With a poorly concealed grimace, she turned back to Matt and glared.

Matt smirked. _Just as planned._

**three.**

Matt was still zipping up his pants on the way out of a public toilet cubicle when his eyes connected with Misa's above the sink mirror.

Mutual surprise, mutual flicker of recognition, which turned to panic on Matt's part and mere oh-it's-just-him on Misa's part.

"Fu-fuck…I'm sorry!" Ducking his head, he turned around and fled out of the toilet's swinging door.

Momentarily, the door opened a crack, through which Matt shouted, "This is the men's toilet! I checked. _You_ should apologize!"

Misa smacked her lips at her reflection. "The girl's toilet was too crowded. Misa needs a lot space and light to apply her make up." She reached for a tissue and pressed it lightly onto her lips.

"Could you," Matt bleated, "Could you just come out for a sec so I can go in and wash my hands?"

Misa frowned into the mirror, exasperated, and also unhappy with the wrinkles that formed on her forehead. "Either you wait until I'm done, or you come in and share sink-space with Misa. "

Matt hesitated, thought, _I have every right to use the men's room_, and pushed the doors open.

Misa glanced at Matt striding into the toilet. "Thought you should know – your fly is open."

**four.**

"Damn damn damn!"

Matt's forearm blurred, his thumbnail whizzing back and forth at lightning speed over the controller as though on a scratch card.

"Lightning Kick, Lightning Kick, come ON!" which garnered some strange looks from the gaming arcade.

Chun-Li on the screen finally whipped out her Lightning Kick – which Blanka dodged, just in time. He prompty pounced to Chun-Li's blind spot during the Lightning Kick, grabbed hold of her, and sank his teeth into her chest.

With a high-pitched shriek, Chun-Li was flung into the air, falling backwards in slow motion with an arc of blood trailing behind her. When she finally came to a skidding halt, she was motionless, a crumpled rag doll on the ground.

Matt was rattling the joystick and keening, "No, Chun-Li! You need to avenge your father's death!" when a chat window popped up.

GREENGIANT: haha, you are PWNED

Matt dragged out the keyboard from under the controller and typed furiously.

FOXYLADY: i was going easy on u. rematch!

They played until 2 AM.

FOXYLADY: i'm heading home  
GREENGIANT: aw, come on, stay longer  
FOXYLADY: do u always stay this late? no wonder ur so good

GREENGIANT didn't reply for a while, and Matt couldn't resist craning his neck to see who he was playing against in the other booth. His eyes met Misa's, her eyes wet, red and swollen beyond what could be expected from merely skipping one night of sleep.

"My fiance, he… works really late. Hasn't been home for the past three days."

Matt was dumbstruck. _What do you say to that?_

"Oh. So. Wanna play until the first train runs?"

Misa pressed the palm of her hands to her eyes, "I think I need a coffee first."

"I'll go get it."

They played until 5 AM, and then Matt walked her to the train station.

Amidst the frumpled, drunken scattering of businessmen boarding for the first train, Misa knocked shoulders with Matt, tilted her face sideways, and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you. Misa feels better. I owe you a coffee."

**five.**

The shop in Akihabara was designed for a certain slant of intimacy, but not for browsing comfort; the narrow aisles didn't allow for more than single file, and Matt and Misa was suddenly face to face, like two cars on a one-way lane.

Matt, who had half his face hidden inside his vest, lifted his chin above the neckline and muttered, "Oh, uh, hey. Fancy bumping into you-" _don't say 'here'_, "again."

"Um, yes. This is, what, 3rd time this month?" Misa was in her disguise again, pushing her thick-rimmed glasses nervously up her nose with a middle finger.

"I think so, yeah, haha."

The only way to exit was for one or both of them to back up. Considering what items they had in their baskets hidden behind their respective backs, this suited them just _fine_.

They smiled placidly at each other, the dim lighting casting sickly shadows on their features.

"So, uh, see you around?"

"Un. Though not around these parts I hope."

"Haha, funny one."

They shuffled their feet backwards – Misa with her S&M outfit (size small, black, pleather) and Matt with his Princess Peach outfit (size large, pink, bra padding inclusive), both deciding to return at a later date to rummage through the sales bin.

**Author's Notes:** This pairing was fiendishly hard to write! Not sure how I feel about the outcome, but it was good to be shoved out of my comfort zone. I think I learned a lot :-) Concrit would be much appreciated!


End file.
